For the first time in my life, I feel like a man.
Hi! It’s Charluxx.
I’ve finally deserved that moniker. I’ve earned it.
Throughout my life, I’ve wondered, kept asking myself when indeed I would become a man.
But, you see, a man is made. Not bestowed by age.
Although now older, I would say my mental age is late 20s. That’s when I feel I hit my apogee emotional growth wise.
I pursued leisurely instead of financially. But because I pay attention, I’ve managed to live a somewhat glamorous lifestyle. I raced cars. I ride very fast motorcycles. I worked in the tech industry for companies like IBM, Adobe, and Apple. I worked in the newspaper industry. I owned a bookstore when I was 19. I worked as a consultant, as a trainer, as a teacher. I was a chef. I worked as an artist.
I went to University... by force of will, not because of my (inexistent) grades. Chutzpah. Got a degree in Sciences, but I never worked in that field for a day. I just needed to prove to myself that I could do it. That’s all.
I’ve always been interested in a lot of things. Music, first and foremost ...I know a lot about music. Books. Graphic novels. Movies. Video games. Photography. Graphic Design. Nature. Animals. Anthropology. MotoGP.
Curiosity feeds the mind. My definition of intelligence is simple: are you curious?.. do you question everything? If you are and do, that makes you intelligent. But as a caveat, I must say that I’ve learned that in life there are a lot of different types of intelligence... but that is for another Philosophy Fridays ;-)
If you are curious and figure things out, you can do what you want in life. Be what you want to be. If circumstances permit.
Observation opened doors because it allowed me to see patterns: the way things work. And as an Hyper Sensitive Person: to feel them.
But, in my head, after all that learning and all that work... and getting on in age, I still didn’t consider myself a man.
I’ve been told by quite a few people that I was “manly.” But what does that mean? It did not register, for what was staring at me in the mirror but a boy with a head full of wonders and questions. That didn’t seem or feel manly.
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had to deal with adversity quite a lot, but after my latest brush with death, I learned to just Love, with a capital L. I’ve decided to pursue my destiny and become what I needed to be: a musician. I’ve just left a job I was highly unhappy in. I’m all in.
I’m starting again, once more. I’ve done it all my life. I had thought it would get easier with time. It doesn’t seem that is the case. But there is beauty in that. It keeps you sharp.
So, what makes a man? Why the sudden epiphany that I was one?
I took a step back and searched my soul.
This is what I came up with:
A man will open doors for everyone. A man is a good father, a friend, an ear and a shoulder. A man doesn’t judge, because he understands that everybody has issues—we’re all learning as we go along. A man respects all animals and insects—to be gifted life is amazing, who are we to take it so impudently? A man talks to children from one intelligent being to another. A man is courteous and composed. A man isn’t afraid to say sorry and apologize. A man praises, compliments and acknowledges good work—we are all in this together even when we compete. A man looks you in the eyes when he shakes your hand. A man says thank you often and means it. A man laughs. A man cries. A man knows it is a woman’s right to choose. A man knows a woman is not a “bitch” but an equal. A man respects everybody’s right to be happy and to be who they are and want to be. A man is an intersectional feminism. A man knows that sexuality flows. A man supports those in need. A man helps. A man is generous and gives freely. A man is humble. A man knows how to relax and enjoy life’s simple pleasures. A man knows his responsibilities and acts respectfully. A man does not support white supremacy, nor fascism. A man sees a person, not a colour. A man fights for equality. A man has the courage to uphold his convictions. A man measures others by dignity, not by accrued wealth. A man isn’t afraid to ask for help or seek advice. A man doesn’t know everything. A man tries his best. A man is a mensch.
These are basic things.
You have to let go of a whole lot of societal barriers to become a man. You have to earn it.
In short, being a man is being a decent human being, and that applys to everyone. Whatever your pronoun.
I’m far from perfect, but I strive, and I hold myself to higher standards.
That is what finally made me realize I had obtained this sought after elusive status.
And with that my friends, whoever you are, wherever you may be, I hold you in my heart and I Love you.
Peace and Love,